Tuesday, April 8, 2014


I think the most talked, preached subject to humanity up to now is love.

OSHO used to say that because of this so much teaching, it was killed, poisoned and a total hypocrisy, complete mask has been developed in its place.

I know this, because when i turn back to my childhood, i can see clearly that i was completely empty of it and i only wear a mask of it. As a child i have needs and fears and i was always filled with one of emotions based on these two. Those are difficult times and i was craving to escape from this slavery of fears and needs. But when i grow my needs and fears were also grown up and my struggle became more intense. Sex need also added further complication.

But, my goodness! I tasted love at lost after so much of this and that, and after so many years. In my experiences of falling in love, i tasted the energy of the opposite sex and the energy uprising in me, without the physical contact. This is Biological upsurge and receptivity only, but still i felt first time that i am expanded, i am more than what i think, my limits are more than what i felt up to now. So from then on i love all lovable girls and always feel the flow of energy in me. In this flow of energy moments, i was out the fears and needs which torture me and also this gave the of experience of freedom, freedom from struggle and fear and thousand and one things and also a sense of expansion.

But still it is not love. It(the love) happened in one moment, when i was utterly contend, relaxed and free from needs and fears. Suddenly from the my state of contendness, energy started overflowing and filled my empty heart, moreover it started overflowing from the heart and started filling the whole place outside me also. O! This is love! I tasted. But the moment has gone.

I tried to get it again. But the journey continues with all ups and downs. In some moments i touched it while i am in meditation, while in sharing OSHO with somebody, feeling J.K., Ramana, i can say. But the important thing is i felt great agony within me in all other moments, as if i am in a prison locked up inside my mind.

This keep my search going on and i end up with letgo of everything in me. And i found that i am in peace, contend and the love started following. It opens door to feel more expansion and when we were expanding  beyond the limits, only the witnessing remains with us. So it is complete.

The journey from i to witnessing is possible only with the experience of expansion, and that is love arising from the empty and contended heart. A child is contend in the womb,  it is enjoying love, it is in the expansion of the mother, it is in the love of the mother. So everybody tastes love energy with the mother and it becomes the basic need of life, basic search of life.

The mother has a privilege of experiencing the love by her biological expansion into the child. That is the natural peak experience of love, but it is not conscious. The next one is sex, in which biologically you connect with the other and bio energies melt into each other and you feel the expansion, but again it is not fully conscious. But the friendliness can give a small conscious taste.

So love, love, and expand, become the expansion and when you lost completely in it, you are witnessing also.

Empty hearted,

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